justfeedmepizza: derekthereindeer: why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone
neighkids: Once in my drama class, our teacher was making us play a game and he was saying ‘never block an impulse. If you have an impulse to do something, i want you to do it’ and so we were all like okay and all of a sudden my boyfriend walks across the circle and grabs my boob and we got sent outside to ‘sort out our shit’
childishnotions: writing is safer, somehow because my pen cannot stutter like my lips do, and words get stuck in throats, not fingertips, can’t stumble on paper trails of blue lines because writing is definite and clear and no one can tell if i am crying or laughing through written words alone
cup0f-h0t-tea: OMG SO I HEARD MY NEIGHBORS HAVING SEX SO I STARTED JUMPING ON MY BED AND LIKE MOANING OR SOME SHIT AND THEY STOPPED. OMG AND I HEARD THE GUY SAY “DAMN WHY CAN’T WE BE FUN LIKE THAT” I CANT STOP LAUGHING.
sermisty: fosterthepeoplejunkster: john-watson-is-sherlocked: asherlockian: pernillo: thenocturnalcouchpotato: fosterthepeoplejunkster: lypo: lypo: got a family of 4 in my house :)X my husband died, just me n the kids :(X ”we’re not calling him dad.” i am legitimately interested in this story every other weekend, he has his kid, from a previous marriage, over. we...
lnfamy: once i dated a guy who stopped talking to me for a month and i found out he didn’t like me anymore but he was too scared to dump me so he just ignored me and i spammed his facebook with wiki links on how to break-up with your girlfriend
carry-on-my-wayward-butt: charlesdutton: my mom’s boyfriend is this 6’2 super buff macho dude with many facial piercings who enjoys death metal and i just came downstairs and found him crying because they had to put down a dog on animal cops i like him keep him
tigersdrinktea: “Blow minds, not dudes” Actually you can do both! What a concept! That women can be intelligent as well as sexually active! And we don’t live in the goddamn 18th century and women don’t have to be pure little virgin housewives if they don’t want to! Oh my gosh!
conchfishscates: ‘big boobs don’t count if you’re fat’ yeah well bIG DICKS DONT COUNT IF YOU ARE ONE